you say you love me then why do you make me feel so starved for love
you say love me but i dont see that love in the look of disgust you throw at me
you say love me but your words become blades severing every fragile wall i built
you say you love me but im scared because beauty starts decaying once it starts belonging.
you say you love me but your name is burnt into my skin and i smell of smoke and dying flesh on my way back home.
you say you love me and i feel like a lovesick fool around you but i feel walls creeping up on me the way your hands did as soon as i reach home.
it fills my entire room until i can’t move any longer
until i pick up the blade to return to my body.
my pysche cries a war on my body because
i have been trying recover lost time and all i can remembers is your hollow i love yous.
the next time you tell me you love me,
i wouldn’t say i don’t believe it.
i would say i want to.
-Avni Jain
avni jain 