Author Archives: thatreaderbee

I have always tried to escape you. Maybe I’ll always have a fear of you because pf the people who left at the sunset knowing you were my weakness. I am afraid of you because of the feelings you allow me to feel. The feelings that get lost admist the sun rays during the day.

The stars too get lost admist the sun rays as my feelings and you make me meet them. With you I feel too much as if I am a universe of exploding stars. I’ve written poems while being lost in you and on you.

“What scares you the most?” The night scares me.
For I let myself face the cruelty within me once again.
The monsters under my bed, never scared me
But the thoughts inside my head.
I am the most raw form of me at night-
The true versions of me,
Anxious, Scared and Weak. I had always feared being one of those
But ended up being it and then constantly hating myself for being me. “Crying is for the weak.” I was told,
I want to show myself brave and bold
So, I’ll hide my tears from everyone,
I can’t let anyone see my tears, I don’t want to be mistaken as weak.
So, find another corner in night.
Cry till I become numb
Then I think maybe tommorow will be better. I will have a new morning but also a new night.

With Love,

A.

Here, I see you again. Again on the same couch with the same journal. My tired eyes still gazing at you hoping you would use a magic wand and seep my sadness right out of me.

With every night that destroyed me, you were there with the sense of comfort and calm I needed. I’ll always look upto you when I think of love because I feel you and the Sun have the most beautiful love. I’ll always long for you for you’ve been there. You’ve seen the nights which drowned me into sorrow, you’ve seen the nights with the endless laughs, you’ve seen the best of me and the worst of me. Thank you.

One day, I’ll be old enough to not remember these nights. Read out this letter to me and remind of every crazy memory.

With Love,

A.

The night I walked away from you, as soon as, you faded from my life; I heard the silence. The silence of my heart which had been broken and pieces thrown away on the floor. I went in dilemma with all the memories of you and I and thinking that we’ll never get a chance to clean up the mess we made. The thought still haunts me.

With all the time passed by without you, I want you to know there are still days I wish I had you to talk to. Days where I want to come rushing to you and tell you all about my day. But, I can’t let what happened before to happen again. I don’t have the strength to come back and fight for you. If we never meet each other again, remember, I love you.

With Love,

A.

I walked away from you,
I burnt the bridge from both sides
So,none of us could go back to each other
Still, each day the ashes reside in my veins and scars still hurt the same.

Everyday, I try to go back to you
But,in the end, I drown
Just drown in the deathly water
The deathly water of memories.
I stay there, trying to relive those memories
Those frozen times where our hearts were never broken,
Where we were enough to comfort each other’s soul.
But,in the end, I realize,
I realize it was all an illusion,
An illusion that seemed true enough to give scars for life
-A.

Hey. I wanted you to know a few things. I am so proud of you. You have suffered every storm till now. I know it may feel so hard to fake a smile, feel as if you can’t take another step. I know it hurts. It hurts deeply because you loved truly but how long are you going to go through it? Why are you punishing yourself?

Things can turn out more than beautiful. Try to live in the moment. You have hurt yourself more than enough. You’re mistreating yourself. You deserve so much more. Start living once again. Some days there won’t be anything to feel good about, you’ll feel everything is ending but it isn’t. Things will get better. You’ll find your happiness and that happiness is worth staying for. Trust me there will be beautiful moments for you. Moments worth staying for. You deserve the universe, don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.

Sending loads of positive energy,

With Love,

A.

Hey. How are you? I missed you. It’s crazy how we always knew each other right and now it’s as if we don’t even know each other. Everytime I think of us, the same unanswered questions haunt me. Why? Why did you leave? What made you leave? I was and still am there for you. I tried to mend things between us. But, I too was exhausted. Exhausted by the you, you had become. I couldn’t make any further efforts. I thought we’ll know each other till the end. Maybe we’ll meet again for the first time. The time when we’ll be wise enough to understand our mistakes. The time when you’ll be too old to remember my face. I’ll remind you of each memory we made, each song we sung together, each story we told people. I’ll remind you “us”

Until then, I wish you all the happiness you deserve.

-A.