ghosts that reside in my body

ghosts that reside in my body

i. trauma

my trauma resides in my vocal cord

stealing and burying every cry for help

it strangles my throat with the hands i didn’t give it.

i’ve painted my tongue with

crushed blueberries and strawberries

sugarcoated it

with words people want to hear.

ii. the little girl i once was

the little girl i once was

wanted a home

needed a home

begged for a home

as i prisoned her in my ribcage

her wounded soul still fights

everyday

because

she wanted an eternal life

and i gave her an eternity of misery

in the shackles of my brain.

iii. person i am

my brain kills the person i am everyday

she bleeds all over the floor

she holds the little girl’s hands

because

she knows

she’s the only one who can save her

she begs her to return

but

the blood

the terror

isn’t her home.

iv. faces i’ve worn

my mind feels like a maze im trying to escape

i see faces lying there.

faces i wore and threw over the years.

for all i knew at this point was,

these faces aren’t mine.

v. fear and anxiety

they reside in my heart

clutching onto it

like an

ill fitted dress

whenever

grief reveals its repeated patterns.

they burn my heart

until theres nothing but

ashes all over me.

vi. people i’ve loved and lost

the ghosts of people i’ve loved and lost

reside in my veins

and haunt me

every night

in my sleep.

vii. grief

grief holds my legs

stops me from feeling the beat of the music

makes me hate the world

without music.

Feminism in Classics: Ghosts by Ibsen

Ghosts, a realist contemporary play was written in 1881, the age of great social upheaval, suffragette movement for women’s political and economic rights, by Henrik Ibsen focuses on gender discrimination between men and women in 19th century Norwegian Bourgeois. While Ibsen discusses the grim image of the filthy atmosphere of that age, characters that support Christianity, bourgeois society, and marriage, along with taboos like the incestuous relationship between master and maid-servant as well as brother and sister, Ghosts has been one of the most criticized plays in the history of young literature. It portrays a mistreated wife turned widow, a mother fighting against society’s patriarchal norms for her son, Oswald.

Ibsen on 26 May 1989 in the Women’s Rights League said “I am not a member of the Women’s Rights League. Whatever I have written has been without any conscious thought of making propaganda. I have been more poet and less social philosopher than people generally seem inclined to believe. I thank you for the toast but must disclaim the honour of having consciously worked for the women’s rights movement. I am not even quite clear as to just what this women’s rights movement really is. To me, it has seemed a problem of humanity in general.” Even though he famously refused to be a feminist, his feminine characters have been portrayed as powerful and strong and it is often believed real-life figures like his feminist mother-in-law and his mother had inspired these characters as he once said “Everything that I have written is most minutely connected with what I have lived through, if not personally experienced for every man shares the responsibility and the guilt of the society to which he belongs. To live is to war with trolls in heart and soul. To write is to sit in judgment on oneself.”

 Therefore, it is believed that the protagonist, Mrs Helena Alving is inspired by his mother, Marichen Ibsen whose husband Knud Ibsen took to alcohol and became abusive towards her. Similarly, the protagonist, Mrs Alving faced abuse by her immoral husband. She thought that her husband haunted her for he mistreated her.

“Ghosts. When I heard Regine and Oswald in there, it was just like seeing ghosts. But then I’m inclined to think that we are all ghosts, Pastor Manders, every one of us. It’s not just what we inherit from our mothers and fathers that haunts us. It’s all kinds of old defunct theories, all sorts of old defunct beliefs, and things like that. It’s not that they actually live on in us; they are simply lodged there, and we cannot get rid of them. I’ve only to pick up a newspaper and I seem to see ghosts gliding between the lines. Over the whole country there must be ghosts, as numerous as the sands of the sea.”

In addition, she takes over his business. She encouraged Oswald to study art and never told Regina about her true origins. She sent Oswald away when he was a child as she felt breathing the foul air of the polluted house would “poison” him.

That was the endless battle I fought, day after day. When we had Oswald, I rather thought Alving improved a little. But it didn’t last long. And then I had to battle twice as hard, fight tooth and nail to prevent anybody from knowing what sort of person my child’s father was. And you know, of course, how charming Alving could be. Nobody could believe anything but good of him. He was one of those people whose reputation is proof against anything they may do.”

There was a significant change in her character by the end of the story, from a woman strictly upholding stagnant values of duty and sacrifice, living a life that is founded on lies and pretences, she is able to confront the truth of her situation when she sees the harm she unwittingly does to Oswald. This trope of women considered as “femme fatale” has been widely popularized in today’s media.

Another female character, Regine Estrangd is also portrayed as a victim of patriarchal society, she’s been limited by her sex and status. She plays a major role when Mrs Alving realizes Oswald is in love with Regina, his half-sister.

Power and Sexuality also play a major role in this play. In the play, it can be seen that how men had imposed control over women. This has been shown in the illicit relationship between Mr Alving and Johanna, a maidservant of their house.

From Mrs Alving’s perspective: Standing at the door, she heard her own servant whisper: “Stop it, Mr Alving! Let me go!”

“Let me go, Engstrand! Stop it! I’ve been in service for three years with Chamberlain Alving at Rosenvold, and don’t you forget it!”

Johanna had been a victim of sexual exploitation and rape by Mr Alving. She soon gave birth to Regine and Engstrand was persuaded to marry her by giving him three hundred dollars to prevent social humiliation. Her character went on to be described as “degenerate”. Even though she was the victim, she was blamed. The cause of this situation can be understood by quoting a speech on sexuality by Catherine Mackinnon-

“Women and men are divided by gender, made into the sexes as we know them, by the social requirements of heterosexuality, which institutionalize male sexual dominance and female sexual submission. If this is true, sexuality is the linchpin of gender inequality.”

Lastly, I would conclude by saying I don’t believe Ghosts is a feminist play but it did a remarkable job in presenting the real society of that age which has allowed to evoke wider interest because the complex portrayal of the discourse of power and sexuality remain central concerns in today’s societies as well.

In Conversation with Mridul Sharma

Mridul Sharma is a content creator and founder of three businesses at 22. Learn about her journey, entrepreneurship and content creation!

Her new business Skion Apparels is now live!

Avni Jain
So, what’s your favorite part about being a content creator?

Mridul Sharma
Um, I think what I really enjoy is the creative liberty that I get to experience every single day. Like,
obviously, I work on my own, and I work on my own content, I can do whatever it is that I’ve been
wanting to do. And that instinct, you know, you can post when you’re done with it, you can upload it, and you get to see people’s reactions which I really enjoy.

Avni Jain
Yeah, I agree with you. And you are an entrepreneur and a content creator. What according to you was the most crucial aspect in the process?

Mridul Sharma
Um, I mean, I’m going to give a very boring answer. Everyone says this, but being consistent. When I
started being consistent, I really saw a huge difference. Because when I started off, I would post videos,
maybe like once a week. If you have like a schedule, there’s a lot of growth, and there’s a lot of potential to be explored. That’s what I personally feel. Yeah.

Avni Jain
You made yourself successful at a very young age. How has the journey treated you?

Mridul Sharma
That’s so sweet. Thank you. It’s been fab, honestly, because this is something that I’ve been wanting to
do. You know, when I was even 11 years old, I would watch all these YouTubers, and I would always
think to myself, I want to be a YouTuber as well. And that wasn’t really a thing in India yet. And now it is, which is fabulous. And I get to live my dream. I think it’s been great so far. I’ve been doing this for four years. And I wouldn’t give it up for the world.

Avni Jain
As you said, you would watch a lot of YouTubers when you were young. So, who was your role model?

Mridul Sharma

So, um, I remember Elle Fowler and Blair Fowler. Not a lot of people know them. Which is sad, but I used to watch their videos every single day. And yeah, I mean, I really liked their content from
the backdrop, they would put so much effort in a backdrop, that outfit, that makeup everything was so like, well put together like the whole production was fabulous. And I feel like I kind of take inspiration from that and try to like make my own version of that almost.

Avni Jain
I’m sure you are them for a lot of people now because I’ve seen your videos and you have put so much effort in it. I love your content.

Mridul Sharma
Thank you so much.

Avni Jain
Who are your favorite influencers or content creators now?

Mridul Sharma
Okay, so personally, I don’t really watch a lot of comedy I watch a lot like lifestyle content and basically what I produce is what I like to consume. So, when it comes to Indians, I really enjoy Aditi Shreshta
(thatquirkymiss). I really like her content. On the top of my head, who else? Can I be like bias and say
Anam Chashmawala. Like, if I see their videos on my subscription, I have to watch those like, yeah.

Avni Jain
Oh, could you tell us a little something about the early days of your blogging like excitement? The
challenges?

Mridul Sharma
Okay, sure. Um, so I remember when I actually started, so actually, I was a blogger, right. But I didn’t
really take that path. I’m more like, primarily a YouTuber. So, I’m going to talk a little bit more about
that. So, when I started my YouTube channel, I remember I would save up my pocket money. And every two weeks, I would go to Hill Road, and I would buy a lot of clothes like 2000 rupees and I would be able to buy like,10-12 pieces of clothing. And then I would like section that out to like four or five different videos. So that was a really fun time. I would skip on like having meals after college, having junk. And then I would pay all of that money and buy clothes and make videos. So that was fun. I mean, I don’t consider it as like a struggle. It was a really fun time. And I look back at it, and it’s nice. So yeah, that’s a fond memory.

Avni Jain

Your new shop Skionn Apparels is coming soon. Could you tell us something about it?

Mridul Sharma
So, I mean,that was actually was supposed to launch this year. But unfortunately, we aren’t going to be
able to do that. So hopefully in January very soon. So basically, I was like, again, so I have Simbaa
Lifestyle where we do like stationery and stuff. But I thought that clothing was so cliche, and everyone
does clothing. So, I was like, let’s not do it. And we finally picked it up. And for starters, we’re going to be
doing a bunch of tie dye. So, we’re concentrating on loungewear. Because I personally really like
loungewear. That’s all. So we’re doing loungewear in tie dye. So that’s what’s happening so far. And
hopefully, eventually, I hope to introduce more pieces, which you can wear for like really nice party
occasions as well. So that’s the plan. So, man, I’m so excited for it.


Avni Jain
Did you face any challenges in your career?

Mridul Sharma
I think it’s been really smooth, touchwood. Challenges? I mean, I don’t think so honestly. But to be very
honest, it’s been very, very smooth. I mean, obviously you have those days where you’re not able to
grow your channel. And you’re stressing out about that. Obviously, everyone’s been through that. But
that was initially. And to be honest, I haven’t really paid a lot of attention when it comes to numbers
because it plays with your head. So, I try not to look at like my views and also not try to look at other
people’s views. Yeah. So, like, that has been very nice. And I’m just honestly so grateful that I get to do
this, like wake up every day and get to do that. I don’t really care about numbers. So, I don’t have like a solid answer.

Avni Jain
I’m so happy for you! And what constantly motivates you to create content, as you said consistency is important.

Mridul Sharma
I have two answers for this. The first one is obviously my viewers. They are so kind and so nice, like
every day reading your comments. And when I wake up that the first thing that I do, I’ll read all the
comments. I’ll go to the comments. So that’s obviously really, really nice. Second, I’ve always been a
very creative person. Even before I had a YouTube channel, I would sit every day and make DIY without
having to post them. So, now, obviously I get to post them and people like it and then people make it.
That I would say yeah.

Avni Jain

How would you describe yourself in one line?

Mridul Sharma

Um, I’ll give you some adjectives rather than giving you a sense of Yeah. So, I will say I am hardworking, creative and driven, I guess. Yeah.

Avni Jain
Any advice for budding entrepreneurs?

Mridul Sharma
Again, super boring one. Consistency is so important. Yeah, boring. I know, everyone says it. But there’s
a reason why everyone says, Yeah, it’s so important because I remember when I was posting every
single day on Instagram, also, I saw a huge difference in my engagement, and similarly, on YouTube.
Also, I feel like of course, listen to what people want and do that. But also give it your little bit of a twist,
you know, in terms of following the trends, because following trends is also very important. Like you
need to hop on to the wagon and make the videos that are trending, or whatever content that is
trending. But it’s important to give it your twist, because people are going to watch your video because
it popped up on their screen, but you need to make them stay. So there needs to be some personal
touch of yours. Yeah, so yeah, that’s my little peace of mind.

Avni Jain
Thank you so much. That was very inspiring.

Mridul Sharma
No problem. Thank you for having me.