ghosts that reside in my body
my trauma resides in my vocal cord
stealing and burying every cry for help
it strangles my throat with the hands i didn’t give it.
i’ve painted my tongue with
crushed blueberries and strawberries
with words people want to hear.
ii. the little girl i once was
the little girl i once was
wanted a home
needed a home
begged for a home
as i prisoned her in my ribcage
her wounded soul still fights
she wanted an eternal life
and i gave her an eternity of misery
in the shackles of my brain.
iii. person i am
my brain kills the person i am everyday
she bleeds all over the floor
she holds the little girl’s hands
she’s the only one who can save her
she begs her to return
isn’t her home.
iv. faces i’ve worn
my mind feels like a maze im trying to escape
i see faces lying there.
faces i wore and threw over the years.
for all i knew at this point was,
these faces aren’t mine.
v. fear and anxiety
they reside in my heart
clutching onto it
ill fitted dress
grief reveals its repeated patterns.
they burn my heart
until theres nothing but
ashes all over me.
vi. people i’ve loved and lost
the ghosts of people i’ve loved and lost
reside in my veins
and haunt me
in my sleep.
grief holds my legs
stops me from feeling the beat of the music
makes me hate the world