ghosts that reside in my body

ghosts that reside in my body

i. trauma

my trauma resides in my vocal cord

stealing and burying every cry for help

it strangles my throat with the hands i didn’t give it.

i’ve painted my tongue with

crushed blueberries and strawberries

sugarcoated it

with words people want to hear.

ii. the little girl i once was

the little girl i once was

wanted a home

needed a home

begged for a home

as i prisoned her in my ribcage

her wounded soul still fights

everyday

because

she wanted an eternal life

and i gave her an eternity of misery

in the shackles of my brain.

iii. person i am

my brain kills the person i am everyday

she bleeds all over the floor

she holds the little girl’s hands

because

she knows

she’s the only one who can save her

she begs her to return

but

the blood

the terror

isn’t her home.

iv. faces i’ve worn

my mind feels like a maze im trying to escape

i see faces lying there.

faces i wore and threw over the years.

for all i knew at this point was,

these faces aren’t mine.

v. fear and anxiety

they reside in my heart

clutching onto it

like an

ill fitted dress

whenever

grief reveals its repeated patterns.

they burn my heart

until theres nothing but

ashes all over me.

vi. people i’ve loved and lost

the ghosts of people i’ve loved and lost

reside in my veins

and haunt me

every night

in my sleep.

vii. grief

grief holds my legs

stops me from feeling the beat of the music

makes me hate the world

without music.