Author Archives: thatreaderbee

i have drunk life from flowers

and burried them in the pages of books,

i have let the sun dissolve me in it’s rays,

i have let my body lay in the lush green grass.

but

tell me

how does it feel to feel enough?

how does it feel to be in a moment?

how does it feel to be free of desires?

i don’t want to drink life from those flowers anymore,

i want to dissolve the sun,

i want my body to lay under the lush green grass.

-Avni Jain

• Title: Why Not Me?
• Author: Anubhav Agrawal
• Pages: 203

A hopeless romantic, Anubhav had been looking for the love of his life. When Zoya accepted his online friend request, he felt an instant connection. Soon, he was falling deeply in love with her.

For four years, first as friend and then as boyfriend, Anubhav waited for the day that Zoya would fall for him too. It never came. He had fallen in love with a person who had never really cared about him. He thought that if Zoya ever left him, he would be devastated. Turns out, it was the best gift ever.

In Why Not Me? A Feeling of Millions, Anubhav looks back on his roller-coaster ride of being crazy in love to heartbroken, expressing in words what countless others have felt. His message? A broken heart can make you a stronger person.

Already a national bestseller, Why Not Me? is a story of learning to love yourself again.

“Love doesn’t provide you with benefits or losses, it just happens. No conditions and no guidelines. And it’s never in control.”

The book follows the story of the protagonist, Anubhav’s experience with love. This book is based on the author’s life following the stories of his teenage and first love. The storyline takes you on a journey of seasons of love. While the story does focus on love, it is much more than that. You get to see the character development of the protagonist and learn valueable lessons. The author picks up an important topic while providing the reader with love story.

“I should understand the value of distance and how it doesn’t make things deteriorate but strengthens them.”

The plot gets predictable after a point. A few points were slowed and exaggerated. Language could have been better, there were quite a few grammatical errors in the book. The cliche plot and the language were major turn downs for me.

This book can be a great pick for young readers who are trying to get new perspectives on heartbreaks and love.

2.5/5

I’m drifting off to death.
something yanks me away,
a brush of cold air passes against the shell of my ear,
there are shadowy figures all around,
i had been running from them all along.
they had been chasing me in the darkness. they have been
cooing,
touching my neck,
creeping over me.
i can’t let myself loose against them.
i’ve come way too far.
the ground shuddered with the impact but i scrambled to my feet and
ran.
there’s camphor all over my feet.
the very camphor burning my heart.
will burning these demons give me enough light to walk through
darkness? or is it forever?
darkness.
darkness came over me everytime i ripped myself off to complete
you.
you.
i fought a thousand battles for you.
i won a thousand battles for you.
but i lost one,
i lost the one with you.
the one with your demons;
the one where i ripped out every shred of my skin,
the one where yearned to be someone else,
the day i lost the battle,
the lost myself too.
my body is both a shelter and a warning both at once.
my death is my canvas and my favourite colour is you.

and
no

no, this is not a love poem
where i could weave you as the perfect man
with a bright smile
and dreamy eyes
how your skin shines when sun sets on your face
but i cannot
i cannot romanticise my scars
the cuts on my wrists
the way i flinch when you raise your strident voice;
how living in my body
feels like living in a crime scene.
how every word i write turns to ash
because
i know
yours are not ears they need to reach.
but there’s still music inside of me,
love inside of me,
and voice more than enough,
for my words to reach the right ears.
-Avni Jain

Dearest,

 i can feel loosing my mind. there’s something cold growing in my heart. the coldness brewing in my heart has numbed it. my feet have frozen,

i don’t realize when i

start playing with ring on my fingers

 peeling off my skin

 i have scars i don’t remember giving myself.

there are flashes before my eyes,

whispers i can’t seem to make sense of.

 and i can’t fight them any longer.

but i want you to know, i lived exactly how you wanted me to.

 i felt strong enough to fight my abuser back,

 sent in my resumé, got accepted,

wrote songs, poetries,

there are still a thousand things to write about, to speak on but it seems in vain,

watched my final sunrise and sunset,

enjoyed looking at you for a long time

i loved you,

you loved me,

and there were days I knew,

I knew it’s all going to be okay if this is forever,

but you can’t hold onto something forever.

and happiness doesn’t look like that for me.

and im way too lost here to find my home,

because I don’t know where it is.

i can’t find a way back home because i’m tired.

i’m tired and I can’t find my happily ever after here.

and I don’t know where to go.

-Avni Jain