Author Archives: thatreaderbee

• Title: Why Not Me?
• Author: Anubhav Agrawal
• Pages: 203

A hopeless romantic, Anubhav had been looking for the love of his life. When Zoya accepted his online friend request, he felt an instant connection. Soon, he was falling deeply in love with her.

For four years, first as friend and then as boyfriend, Anubhav waited for the day that Zoya would fall for him too. It never came. He had fallen in love with a person who had never really cared about him. He thought that if Zoya ever left him, he would be devastated. Turns out, it was the best gift ever.

In Why Not Me? A Feeling of Millions, Anubhav looks back on his roller-coaster ride of being crazy in love to heartbroken, expressing in words what countless others have felt. His message? A broken heart can make you a stronger person.

Already a national bestseller, Why Not Me? is a story of learning to love yourself again.

“Love doesn’t provide you with benefits or losses, it just happens. No conditions and no guidelines. And it’s never in control.”

The book follows the story of the protagonist, Anubhav’s experience with love. This book is based on the author’s life following the stories of his teenage and first love. The storyline takes you on a journey of seasons of love. While the story does focus on love, it is much more than that. You get to see the character development of the protagonist and learn valueable lessons. The author picks up an important topic while providing the reader with love story.

“I should understand the value of distance and how it doesn’t make things deteriorate but strengthens them.”

The plot gets predictable after a point. A few points were slowed and exaggerated. Language could have been better, there were quite a few grammatical errors in the book. The cliche plot and the language were major turn downs for me.

This book can be a great pick for young readers who are trying to get new perspectives on heartbreaks and love.

2.5/5

I’m drifting off to death.
something yanks me away,
a brush of cold air passes against the shell of my ear,
there are shadowy figures all around,
i had been running from them all along.
they had been chasing me in the darkness. they have been
cooing,
touching my neck,
creeping over me.
i can’t let myself loose against them.
i’ve come way too far.
the ground shuddered with the impact but i scrambled to my feet and
ran.
there’s camphor all over my feet.
the very camphor burning my heart.
will burning these demons give me enough light to walk through
darkness? or is it forever?
darkness.
darkness came over me everytime i ripped myself off to complete
you.
you.
i fought a thousand battles for you.
i won a thousand battles for you.
but i lost one,
i lost the one with you.
the one with your demons;
the one where i ripped out every shred of my skin,
the one where yearned to be someone else,
the day i lost the battle,
the lost myself too.
my body is both a shelter and a warning both at once.
my death is my canvas and my favourite colour is you.

and
no

no, this is not a love poem
where i could weave you as the perfect man
with a bright smile
and dreamy eyes
how your skin shines when sun sets on your face
but i cannot
i cannot romanticise my scars
the cuts on my wrists
the way i flinch when you raise your strident voice;
how living in my body
feels like living in a crime scene.
how every word i write turns to ash
because
i know
yours are not ears they need to reach.
but there’s still music inside of me,
love inside of me,
and voice more than enough,
for my words to reach the right ears.
-Avni Jain

Dearest,

 i can feel loosing my mind. there’s something cold growing in my heart. the coldness brewing in my heart has numbed it. my feet have frozen,

i don’t realize when i

start playing with ring on my fingers

 peeling off my skin

 i have scars i don’t remember giving myself.

there are flashes before my eyes,

whispers i can’t seem to make sense of.

 and i can’t fight them any longer.

but i want you to know, i lived exactly how you wanted me to.

 i felt strong enough to fight my abuser back,

 sent in my resumé, got accepted,

wrote songs, poetries,

there are still a thousand things to write about, to speak on but it seems in vain,

watched my final sunrise and sunset,

enjoyed looking at you for a long time

i loved you,

you loved me,

and there were days I knew,

I knew it’s all going to be okay if this is forever,

but you can’t hold onto something forever.

and happiness doesn’t look like that for me.

and im way too lost here to find my home,

because I don’t know where it is.

i can’t find a way back home because i’m tired.

i’m tired and I can’t find my happily ever after here.

and I don’t know where to go.

-Avni Jain

An Open Letter to Every Parent,

In fear of loss of privileges you have provided, in fear of getting comments like “it’s just a phase”, in fear of being thought of as weak, we have silenced ourselves for way too long. Harsh parenting is just as scary as any other violence. It can lead to self depreciating thoughts and physical ill health. Overprotecting us, keeping us “safe” from unpleasant social situations won’t help us, that deprives us of our skills we still haven’t explored, our abilities we are yet to discover. The life events are unpleasant but they are ordinary. We want to know our parents support us. It is a tough world for us out there but we want our home to be safe.

We know your childhood was more difficult than ours. We understand how it affected you but we want you to understand that ours is just as difficult.

As teenagers, we are constantly trying to find ourselves; we are forming our personalities, our behaviours, we are still learning about ourselves and people’s opinions about us, our surroundings play major role in it. Telling us our interests don’t matter, our opinions don’t matter can lead to individuality complex because since a young age we are being taught things we like are ‘bad’.

“It will all be fixed with age”, yes it will. We will grow enough to understand but right now we are here. We are feeling this and if we can’t understand right now, we want you to understand.

“It is just a phase”, neither of us have permanent state of ourselves. We are constantly evolving, learning to be a better person, unlearning our toxic behaviours but what we are now, what we feel now is real, it matters. We want it to matter to you too, we want it to matter to you enough for you to make us feel that our emotions are valid, that though thick and thin you are here for us.

With Love,

Avni Jain